cancer · cats · regular life · waiting

Still Up in the Air

Hi everyone!

So I had all my consults with specialists this week. It was really fun, seeing that I love going to medical places so much.

Not.

Anyway, the oncologist wants me to start with chemo up front. They say I’m strong and young and they think I’ll kick butt with that. Then more chemo and radiation and then surgery. The surgery won’t be until October?! I’m like—I don’t know about that.

They usually start with chemo and radiation then surgery then more chemo.

I told them at first—just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. Now I have questions. I don’t want to wait til October for surgery. At least I don’t think I do. I called my regular doctor to ask what she thinks.

Meanwhile, our awesome neighbor Kim brought us chili and wine yesterday. Yum. And I slept like a damn rock last night and it totally ruled. I’m up and making a grocery list and watching our cat Ghost stalk birds on tv. She’s a hoot.

That’s all for now. I’m feeling okay. House is spotless, laundry done, just waiting on the weekend.

Wish Covid would piss off. Would like to do normal shit again.

Wouldn’t we all?!

Love ya ❤️

anxiety · cancer · waiting

Waiting Game

I have an appointment with my chemo oncologist next week on Wednesday. My husband will come with me to that.

I have an appointment with my radiation oncologist next Thursday. My older sis is coming with me to that.

I asked the lady who set my appointment with the chemo doc—how long til I start actually doing this stuff? She said about 2 weeks after these appointments.

So til then, I’m bouncing between feeling normal sometimes, then being scared, then just wishing I could start already, then happy I’m just chilling around my house like the old days. And the cycle repeats in no particular order.

People have told me I’ll feel better once I get the damn ball rolling. I know that is going to be true.

I still can’t believe it. Sometimes I really get pissed. I can’t get over how healthy I’ve tried to be all my life and for what. I have to go through this.

But I guess going and getting myself checked out was a healthy thing too. Glad I didn’t wait any longer. But still wish I had gone sooner.

Oh well.

So I’ll wait. And hopefully not loose my marbles before I hop to it.